Marker Moments
We all have those times in our lives where something happens and the trajectory of our life changes and does not go back to the way it was before. It could be something momentous like graduation, marriage, or children or something uninvited like divorce, sickness, or death. At other times it is a series of small decisions or lessons learned that guide us in a new direction and then we look back over time and see we are no longer who we once were.
It is hard to believe this summer my family and I will have been in this home for 6 years. It is even harder to believe how much has changed in my life in what seemed like just a few short years. But what I want to focus on and remember is what God has done in me over the last year. This past weekend was what I am calling a "Marker Moment" in my life. It is a point in time that I chose to mark with a specific act to say "THIS is worth remembering". On 2/3/24 I chose to be baptized in my church, not because this specific date is significant, but because God did something significant, and I want to ensure I don't forget it.
When I look back now I can see it began when we moved here 6 years ago, but this past year has felt like an acceleration to what God wanted to do. I have walked most of my life with the Lord. I was raised in a loving, Christian home. I was baptized as an infant and gave my life to the Lord as an adolescent. But you see even with all these good things, I was still a part of this world, exposed to the things of this world, and making choices that looked a lot like this world. Along the way, I took steps of faith, pursued God and life with Him, and have grown tremendously in my relationship with God.
I discovered that the more I grew to know God, the more I grew to know myself. I also began to understand that I had picked up lots of labels and lies and carried them, some for a very long time. Labels like "quiet", "perfectionist", "overbearing", "anxious", and "not good enough" (the list could go on) had been revealed to me. I started paying more attention to the way I spoke to myself in my inner dialogue, and I knew that I would never want anyone to hear those words. So why would I speak them to myself?
John 10:10 gives some insight into what was going on in me. It says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." The thief is my enemy, Satan, and as one living in this world, I am exposed to him and his malicious ways. His only desire is to bring harm to me in any way he can, and for me, it began with simple lies and labels that I believed.
But this isn't where I want to spend my time dwelling because this adversary isn't going to get too much air-time from me. It's the second part of this verse in John 10 that led to my Marker Moment. Jesus came to bring life to the fullest. You see it wasn't like my life wasn't full before this point. It was a good life with many beautiful moments and blessings. It wasn't perfect, but I was doing ok, great even, most of the time. But God's word says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
As I have sought the Lord and encountered Him in this season He has graciously and gently revealed who I am. He has shown me places where I hid out of fear, pretended because it was easier, believed a lie, or buried hurts. I have seen Him take some of these things and gently reveal them, heal them, and help me see them with brand-new eyes. Finding freedom to let go of who I was never made to be, the burden of living up to what the world and people say I am, and, most of all, standing up to an enemy who has only ever wanted to bring me harm has changed me forever.
So I was baptized to mark this season. This pruning, this purifying, this re-making He has done in me deserves a Marker Moment. I am not who I once was. I am reminded that when God looks at our stories He doesn’t just see it in pieces…beginning, middle, and end. When He looks at us, in His infinite wisdom and all-knowing, He sees us completely from even before we were born into eternity. And He absolutely adores us!
This is so beautiful! - Jaime
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