Reckless Love

      When I first became a mom it wasn't an easy transition.  Stepping into this new role did not just happen like some think it should or others so naturally assume.  I had read lots of books while pregnant, followed all the rules for a healthy pregnancy, and then attempted to care for our new baby by feeding, changing, and making sure all her needs were taken care of as quickly and by the book as possible.  The problem was things weren't so simple and they didn't always happen by the book.  I didn't know how to do this and what did I do when all that I tried failed?     This was a rude awakening for me when I realized that this situation was out of my control.  I needed to lay down my predetermined notions of motherhood, expectations, and plans.  Once I came to the end of myself and gave all that I am for something else, my understanding of being a mom changed.    Being a mom meant far more about my relationship with my daughter than it did meeting her needs.  She ne

          Have you ever experienced the new car phenomenon?   You know when you are looking to purchase a car and finally you settle on the right make, model and color.  Then once you buy it you seem to notice just how many other cars on the road look just like yours.  I hadn't thought of China before August 2019, but once we started the adoption process I read books about China, books about adoption, books about adoptions from China, took adoption classes on the Chinese culture and language, and watched several documentaries on Chinese adoptions.  Then China itself became big news!  Suddenly in January 2020, every time I turned on the news all I heard about was China.  And it wasn't getting the publicity that I would have wanted to hear.  Strange how something that was nowhere on your radar seems to now be everywhere, whether you like it or not.  Very much like buying that new car.             For many months we hadn't heard any positive news coming out of China.  Even onc